Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Moving Forward - The Day I Lost my Champ

C.H.A.M.P. - Champion in Attendance Maintenance Program

For five years and eight months, I was a Champ. Our company even recognized my effort for maintaining a perfect attendance for all of those years.

Today, is the day I lost my Champ....much as I want to feel sorry for myself...I know sooner or later that I have to let it go.

Why? Because I realized that the more I cling into it; the more I take for granted the other opportunities that are manifesting in my very eyes...

I was liked a horse whose eyes are partially covered - I keep on aiming on what my visions can see....even if it's the same thing over and over again.

It's over now and I just have to let it go...otherwise, it would eat up my whole system. A lot of my co-pioneers used to be so desperate to be in my position when I was still a champ....Yet, today, if you look at them; you will notice that by letting go of that feverish desire; they have achieved more than they can dream of....

I wish to be like them...

And so....for one last time, I look back at what my being a champ gave me - a Digital Camera, a trip to Palawan, a trip to Hongkong, trip to Bohol and a DVD Player plus thousands of pesos accumulated from each month that I have completed a perfect attendance. Perfect attendance for being a champ means no lates; no overbreaks, no emergency leaves, no sick leaves and no undertimes.

I also earn the adulation of other employees and yes....the envy of some of them....including the people who I thought where my friends.

Tough as it may seem to accept; I mentally list down what might I gain for letting go of my champ...

My time will now be more flexible and not tied by rules; I can now call in for sick leave and not pretend to be okay when I knew I'm not, If something important came up, I can ask for an undertime or an emergency leave, I will now have more attention towards fulfilling my other dreams and looking for other opportunities outside of my job - such as pursuing my graduate studies and researching for some timely and appropriate small business.

I also realized that since I lost my Champ; I had to be more focused on where I spent my money now...for almost six years...I did not save any of the cash incentives I got for maintaining my perfect attendance. I just spent them as I pleased.

It also dawn on me that I can actually buy for myself those things that my champ can give me....If only I can learn to better manage my finances (since I am still supporting my family) - I can have trips abroad, trips on local tourist spots and even the gadgets.

By also watching carefully over my finances; I also learned that I have more than enough to compensate for what I lost (Php 1,000 every month) and just have enough to save for the rainy days.

In short; no matter how hard it may be to accept (for me) that by letting go of one thing that binds me to my work seriously; My visions were cleared to better see the vast opportunities that awaits me.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Parents and their Kids

This Entry is about my Father. Ever since I was a kid, my mother would always say that I am 90% of my Father when it comes to my attitude.

He is a disciplinarian - so do I. Although he really mellowed down and became a lenient one when we were growing up and me? I just became the spoiler - at least when it comes to my nephews.

He takes care of this things (especially clothes) very well and he doesn't want anyone to "mess" up or "meddle"with his stuffs. Especially when you didn't ask for his permission - if you are borrowing his things. I was very much like him and as I grew up, we both tried very hard not to be "over ruled" by the stuffs that we own.

He is temperamental - This, according to my mother is the most significant trait that I have inherited from him. How true, Although I worked so hard to calm down and teach myself to relax, there are still days that I find it easier to adopt to a challenging task than to be sensitive enough to handle my emotions against those people who pisses me off.

When I was younger, I was always in denial of the last trait that I got from him. Maybe because I know in my heart that it's a negative one and that it is the most overwhelming attitude that I got from him.

However, when I was growing up and already employed, I also learned that I possess the following admirable traits from him:

Diligence - My father always believe in working hard. No short cuts. If you love your work, in return, it will love you too.

Punctuality - Even though my Father is a compulsive drinker and always finds reasons to get drunk whenever he and his pals (and sometimes relatives) are together; he still makes it a point that no matter how sick he was (from hang over) he would still see to it that he is up for work next morning. He still does the same thing nowadays even if he is no longer employed and operates his own jeepney (courtesy of his big sister). It is because of this trait of his that I inherited that I was able to received recognition from our company as the only employee in five consecutive years who was able to achieve a perfect attendance.

Honesty - As a child, he clearly made a point that he would be gentle with us if we confess and tell the truth about the mistakes or sins we have commit. This attitude however, sometimes put me into trouble. Whenever my sister would conspire with me to hide something from our parents, especially our mother, they would still find a way to know the truth - just by asking me. Which in turn, makes my siblings annoyed at me.

So you see, we do have a lot in common. But since no individuals are the same (as the word clearly suggests); we do have differences from one another, which sometimes...causes the two of us to clash:

Forgiving Heart - My father doesn't hold grudge. He maybe rough or mean at times when somebody pushes him to the limits. Still, at the end of the day, he would always forgive. I, meanwhile, learned that if a person betrayed me or caused me a heartache, expect that I'll be distant towards that person. And sometimes, it would take time before I finally forgive and forget what that person did to me before.

Too trusting - When it comes to luck, my father was presented with a hundred fold of opportunities to elevate himself through entrepreneurship. He, however, chooses to entrust his small businesses to the care of those persons who in return only cheated him.
I may not have my own business yet, but when it comes to money, I do my own assignment. I choose to have my affairs monitored time to time just to avoid any issues that I won't be able to handle later on.

As I walk to this journey of life, I learned about myself through him. He is a living example of whom I should be and should be not. Ranging from his frustrations (better life for us and nice retirement for him), realized ambitions (having his own house & lot - courtesy of my sister) and secret wishes that are yet to be fulfilled (travel around thru airplane).

This similarities and differences that we both have just made me realized the feeling that I thought I lost a long time ago...when I learned to be cynical - that no matter how much I proved to the world that I am strong and independent; inside me is a child that truly is my father's daughter....who up to now, even though she is already grown up....still looks up to her father.